I know its wordless Wednesday but these are my feelings and thoughts I wanted to share, write down, and remember...
Today I feel brave.
In life you are faced with decisions. Some of them hard to make, some of them easy.
We are and have been faced with a decision that we humbly made and accepted.
Life is full of risks. This is one of them. We won't know unless we try. So we will. The reality that I will begin stims on Thursday and that we will undergo IVF is unbelievable.
I'm in awe of the lengths one takes for love. I'm in awe of the perserverance love and the human spirit has. Whatever it takes to have a chance...you do it!
We won't know unless we try. So keeping this in mind somehow makes everything seem less scary.
I could go back to my safe little world where needles don't exist. Where terms like infertility don't plague me. Where unrealistic hopes reside. Where at every month looming heartbreak and disappointment are sure to be near. But isn't it worth the risk?
Yes, this road is scary. The unknown is scarier still but I would still choose this road if at the end of it my dreams of starting a family with my love were to come true.
This is a risk. The potential consequences are endless. The effects this can have on my body is very real. The things that could go wrong are real. I understand and I'm afraid.
But I feel like I'm at the top of a mountain about to jump off trusting God, in His loving grace, to catch me. Trusting that God will guard my heart and that He will catch me, like He has so many times before.
And so, its the leap of faith we will make...regardless of the outcome...we will never regret this.
When you want something with all of your heart, you leap out into the unknown with arms wide open. Our hearts full of hope.
Today I am proud of us for trying.
Today I feel brave.
~Love recognizes no barriers. It leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.~
Unwavering Hope
- Unwavering Hope
- I am a 29 year old woman married to my best friend and love of my life. My husband is 39 and has been diagnosed w/ Male Factor Infertility. I have a diminished ovarian reserve (FSH levels 11.9 & 7.8 ). We have tried IUI's and are now on the path to IVF w/ ICSI. Our third attempt lead us to where we are now. We are now blessed with our miracle son. This is our journey.
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Yes, the unknown is super scary. It's hard to take the leap. Hope everything is well.
ReplyDeleteIt does feel risky and foreign, for sure. I was so scared of the side effects and mostly afraid that I'd endure the whole IVF protocol for nothing, for just another failed cycle. I remember almost immediately before I started stims thinking (& saying aloud) "I don't think I can do this, I hate that this is what we must resort to!" And shortly after that, stims began and it really felt like no big deal. It just "is." It becomes your new reality, and you manage it. And when our cycle was successful, all of that worry and fear totally dissipated, and all of the crap we'd been through instantly felt worth it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! You'll do great! :)
Trinity, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Please say a little prayer for me!
ReplyDeleteHold strong to your faith & hope...I think you'll be surprised at your own strength and it will all be worth it in knowing you've done all you can to build your family. Wishing you the best & hoping you will soon be celebrating your BFP!
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd leave you with a quote that I love & held tight to throughout our struggles with infertility...hope it blesses you!
"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." --Barbara J. Winter
Rebecca, thank you so much! That quote made me cry. It's exactly how I feel right now. Thanks!
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