It comes in waves...

This week has been eye opening. I've learned once again about human endurance. How we fall down and get back up again. How hope which can sometimes seem hard to hold on to still remains.

My beta was obviously negative. My period finally came today. The waiting was hard. Knowing it didn't work, I just kept waiting for my period to come so I could finally have closure. I thought I would be emotional. I thought it would be hard. Although we are sad, I feel ready to move on.

This week I decided to look into changing my insurance (I'm currently under my husband's) which I wasn't even sure I could do. My insurance covers a good portion of IVF and meds. I was accepted and will be signing paperwork in the next couple of weeks. Good news.

We will be meeting with Dr. Hope in the next couple of weeks to discuss where we go from here. We have at least another fresh cycle because we paid for multi-cycles.

My sister in law, who battled infertility and now has 2 beautiful children, had the most encouraging message. She told me that at their most difficult (she miscarried at week 25) she decided to make something positive out of something negative...determination. I loved her using this word because this process can make you feel very helpless.

We are ready to push forward and move on. I'm sure throughout the next couple of weeks we will be going through emotional ups and downs but we are trying to keep our eyes on the prize.

My husband and I will be going away...taking some time together. We are looking forward to it.