"You just have to relax...just enjoy your time together and relax....also you should buy those (rambling a little b/c bless her heart, Ms. Fertile, she didn't have the lingo down) ovulatory or ovulation sticks." I smiled and said "yeah, we've used them." What I truly wanted to say was I know every name brand and kind there is and have used ALL of them...including the mother of ALL--the $200 beauty ClearBlue Fertility Monitor.
Every person that conceives easily uses this phrase. My hair dresser said "Just have a couple of glasses of wine and have fun." She having said that she counted to her cycle day 14 and she had sex and that was it!"
I hate the assumptions that are made regarding ttc. It so strange that people's first reaction when hearing one is having difficulty is "just relax"---where the fuck did everyone learn to use that as the token phrase?
As if relaxing is something that's never occurred to me. "Wow, your right, Sherlock! I hadn't considered relaxing through this process." As if relaxing is really all that is required to conceive. Fuck relaxin'---I'm off that boat....I'm way over on the other side of relaxing...with the other realists that know that stress can affect many things but conception of a child is not one of them.
Relaxing is not going to make my husbands' sperm penetrate my egg...there is no audio soundtrack of Enya's best hits playing in my womb when I try to meditate and take deep breaths. This is out of my control and the sooner I tell myself that the less feelings I have about it being my fault....the less guilt I have about thinking that I'm doing something wrong.
So fuck relaxing....I'm going to take this as it comes. If I want to cry, then I'll have myself a good long pity party. If I want to be mad at the world and it's injustice, then to hell it with it...I will. But one thing I will not tell myself is "just relax" (sing songy voice).
Read more: http://www.mylivesignature.com/mls_wizard2_1.php?sid=54488-146-09B7391C2AFF967218A5FCF1DC50DC89#ixzz0lsvWwDP1
Sister, I'm glad that you are able to find some solace in blogging your feelings. I'm sorry about Ron's condition. I'm praying for you guys.
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