Feeling so incredibly grateful...

I sit here reflecting on this journey and feel so incredibly grateful to be pregnant. This little miracle growing and moving inside me. Everyday I feel his kicks and his gentle pressure and I feel like I'm walking in a dream. I longed so much to be at this place....I am so happy!

God is so good! Everyday I wake up and look at my belly and send a prayer of thankfulness to God for this gift.

I absolutely love being pregnant!!! I feel fantastic but even if I didn't you wouldn't hear me complaining. I have waited my whole life to be exactly where I am today so I am soaking every minute of this miracle.

On a funny note, I have developed a very interesting relationship with bathrooms...i will literally scour any location for one. The last bathroom I went to consisted of a basement/back room dungeon looking bathroom in a mini-mart. I am finding this to be quite funny! Gotta do what I gotta do! : )

I've been waiting to fill one of these out!

How far along: 24th Week

Total Weight Gain: 14 lbs

Symptoms: I LOVE being pregnant so far be it for me to start listing things that are just part of pregnancy but...heartburn comes and goes in waves but only at night time. Other than that, I feel fantastic.

Maternity Clothes: Yes...definitely need to now. There is no hiding this pregnant belly! Thanks to my bestie and my sister in law I have not had to buy much! I did buy some maxi dresses though b/c I always loved the way they looked but I always saw them as maternity style. I couldn't do that and risk people wondering if I was or not. Too painful! But NOW I will be rocking these dresses!

Stretch Marks: No! Thank goodness! I'm lathering up!

Sleep: Is better now that I have added my friend, the body pillow. I have woken up on several occasions with leg cramps. Not fun!


Best Moment Last Week: We've slowly been receiving clothes and other hand me downs over the last couple of weeks. One of the things we received was a little bouncer, which my niece used when she was a baby. Well I sat and looked at the bouncer and I lost it. I started crying at the realization that we are really in this place...we are going to be parents. My husband and I are so grateful to be at this point. I feel so thankful and blessed.

Movement: All the time and I LOVE IT!!!!

Food Cravings: ICE CREAM!!!

What I Miss: Nothing compares to this...I can sacrifice whatever I need to!

What am I looking forward to: I'm just enjoying and soaking in every minute of this pregnancy.

Milestones: Hmmm...we have begun talking about the baby shower....

How is Daddy? He is so excited...he keeps making plans. I love it when he places his hand on my belly and talks to Neo. I just can't wait for him to be a daddy!

I'm so in love....

I realize I've been walking around in love. It is hard to concentrate. It is hard to think about other things. I'm so in love.

I love my baby so much and I haven't even met him/her yet. It's pretty amazing. I walk around with the knowledge of this miracle growing inside me.

Pregnancy is miraculous...all the things that need to happen. It makes one realize that every life is a miracle...not to be taken for granted.

I've been feeling the baby move and my heart fills with love...my eyes fill with tears. After all the heartbreak and pain, it feels so wonderful to feel our miracle baby moving inside me.

We are so grateful. I'm beginning to allow myself to think/dream/hope beyond today.

We went last Monday to our 20 week ultrasound and everything is looking good. We wanted to find out the sex of the baby but be able to have an authentic experience so we asked the ultrasound tech to write down the sex in a paper which we placed in an envelope. We went home and opened the envelope together. It was so cool doing it this way...we were able to be comfortable & experience all the emotions and reactions in our home (and capture our reaction on video).

So....Neo is a....BOY!

We are so happy! I knew it was a boy. I guess my mother's intuition is in check!

So in love w/ our baby boy!

What? Really? How come no one ever mentioned this?

What? Really? How come no one ever mentioned this?

So I went in for my appt. w/ my ob thinking it had been a month since I saw Neo and I was excited.

We walk in to the examination room and there is no sonogram machine. When my doctor came in I asked her where the machine is? are we not seeing Neo today?

She said, no. The next time we will see Neo will be at the 20 week scan. Then if everything, God willing, is okay that will be it. What???

Why have I assumed all this time that you can see your baby everytime you had a doctor's visit??? Why has no one ever mentioned this?

No wonder I've heard of people paying for sonograms...ay!

Well, this settles it...we will definitely be getting a 3D-4D ultrasound!

I realize that if we don't need additional ultrasounds, than that's an indication that everything is okay. I'm not complaining just completely and utterly surprised!

In any case we have 3 more weeks before we see Neo once more.

Here is our last ultrasound:

Under Construction...

A New Season in My Life calls for a new look for my blog.

Pardon the appearance. : )

Can Women Have It All?

Since I am coming upon my second trimester and beginning to show, I decided to tell my boss that I'm pregnant. I am fortunate enough to be able to take a year off and still be able to return to work and be guaranteed a position in my school. I feel very grateful to have that option. There is a part of me that wishes I could be a stay at home mom, especially after waiting so long...I don't want to miss a moment.

My husband and I looked at our finances and realized that it would be tight but we could make it work for a year. Where we go after that, I guess we'll have to wait and see...

I am so grateful to be in this place where we have to realistically make these decisions. It feels bittersweet.

So the question I've been thinking about....Can women have it all?
Marriage + Baby + Career-- I sure want it all but suspect that "mommy guilt" I've heard so much about might be present. I am a worrier...a planner...hence these are the things I'm thinking about.

On another happy note on Monday we went for our ultrascreen and everything looked good. Neo was waving and moving around quite a bit. I have to post Neo's picture on my next post. It's still sinking in. So amazingly surreal...the ultrasound technician placed the probe or wand (whatever its called) on my belly and there he/she was...amazing! I could cry just thinking about it.

Today we were in toy*s*r*u*s* buying a birthday gift for my nephew and my husband suggested we browse through the baby section. I have not allowed myself to go there yet. I don't know if It's "normal" but it just feels like it hasn't fully sunken in yet. I also haven't allowed my heart to go there. But today we just walked down the sections and I have to admit...I started getting emotional. The second I walked in to the section...I believe my exact words were, "Wow! I can't believe we are here!" All this time I purposely looked away or avoided these sections of stores.

I am so grateful. I'm going to be someone's mommy. Is this real?

The Miracle of Neo

For those who have followed my blog...surprise!

I am 12 weeks pregnant. I was keeping the news close to my heart and didn't want to post anything because there are people close to me in real life that read this blog. It was too precious to share just yet.

Today we shared our news with the last bit of family. It was so beautiful and everything I could've hoped. My husband and I are so blessed to have family who genuinely love us and rejoice in our happiness. Our family has cried with us, prayed for us, shared in our longing. We are so grateful.

Today, I was able to begin to believe that this is real...I am still processing this gift. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is about Neo. I wake up with a smile with the understanding that this little being is growing and is safe in my womb.

There are really no words to describe the amount of gratitude we feel.

My husband...now that is someone I can fill pages of a book about. He is so beautiful. His heart is slowly unbreaking. I've seen his eyes well up with tears of happiness and gratitude over the last 3 months. He is going to be an amazing father. Being pregnant has been restorative to us as a couple. We always grew closer after each heartbreaking attempt but it did create this sad void in us. Now, through the grace of God, we are travelling on this other road. I love him. I can't wait for him to be able to be a daddy. He was born for this.

On Monday we have our 12 week scan (Nuchal Translucency Test) and then on Thursday we get to see Neo again for my 13th week appointment.

My deepest gratitude to all who have posted encouraging messages, good wishes, and prayers along this journey. I pray that you continue to keep us in your prayers as you are in mine. Thank you.

Telling Familly About Our Miracle (Part One)

I am into my 10th week. This weekend my brother in law is coming from Texas and we have decided to share our news with my husbands' siblings. It's exciting and a little...I don't know how to explain it. It's been nice to be in our own little bubble. Once we share our news it won't just be our precious little secret. I've enjoyed the quiet smiles...the silent understanding. I know though that the knowledge of Neo means that our loved ones will pray for us and Neo.

We are excited to share the news with our family. We know that they have wanted this for us for so long. We've been planning how we are going to share the news. We bought t-shirts. My husband's shirt says 1 + 1 = 3 with a picture of a man and woman holding the hand of a child. My shirt says baby on board in pig latin.

We've been dreaming about this moment for so long. I've envisioned it so many different ways. Now though it is actually happening and the thought alone brings tears to my eyes.

I am so unbelievably grateful for every moment.

I will start publishing all of these posts next weekend, which is when we will share our news with the other part of our family.

Neo is 9 weeks and we are counting our blessings!

On Thursday,we went to my OB who I hadn't seen since last year when she sat us down for a consultation before sending off to our miracle workers.

I actually met w/ another doctor in the practice, Dr. R. Apparently, I will be seeing 4 different doctors that will be rotated so that I meet them all.

There are so many thoughts I had as I sat in the waiting room on the other side of this journey. One was disbelief, in fact, there is a part of me that still can't fully comprehend what is happening. The last time we were sitting in this very waiting room I felt such heartache and was so confused as to why we weren't getting pregnant. I prayed and hoped that everything would be okay. Later we came to find out that there was a very real reason as to why things were not happening how we'd hoped. It was devastating and numbing.

Now I sat there holding my husband's hand...feeling so incredibly grateful for every day, every symptom, every moment. I know that there is still a long journey ahead of us but we feel so grateful to have gotten to this point. We are allowing ourselves to dream...to fantasize. It's wonderful and yet so scary. It took us so long to get to this point. Neo is such a precious gift.

During our sonogram we got to see Neo and found that I was actually measuring 9 weeks when we originally thought I was 8 weeks 4 days. We will take it! Everything is looking great. The heartbeat and growth is strong. Our little Neo is a survivor!

I'm taking each day...one day at a time. Each day is such a miracle. God is faithful.

Symptoms and More Symptoms

I am feeling extremely pregnant being that I've had every pregnant symptom in the book

Nausea:comes and goes and not just in the morning (check)


Heartburn: never really had any bouts of this in my life before but I'm pretty sure its what I've been having (check)


Flatulence: which is just a nice way of saying that I am so gaseous...so gross (check) By the way, why doesn't anyone talk about this?

Tired: I could go to sleep by 6:00pm every night (check)


Hunger:ever since I first found out I was pregnant I have such HUNGER. My stomach feels like such a pit when I'm hungry. I am not a stress or comfort eater so when I'm busy I usually ignore my stomach...well,now there is no ignoring Neo. My stomach is angry at me and I feel nausea if I don't eat. (check)


Tiny baby bump. It's small and cute. It's definitely more visible at night thanks to the bloating, which I love since it makes my belly seem bigger.

If it sounds like I'm complaining...NOT AT ALL!!! I am enjoying every minute of this. I LOVE BEING PREGNANT!!! I want to soak it in.

Here is a picture of Neo, my heart at 7 weeks. My heart is slowly unbreaking.