Can Women Have It All?

Since I am coming upon my second trimester and beginning to show, I decided to tell my boss that I'm pregnant. I am fortunate enough to be able to take a year off and still be able to return to work and be guaranteed a position in my school. I feel very grateful to have that option. There is a part of me that wishes I could be a stay at home mom, especially after waiting so long...I don't want to miss a moment.

My husband and I looked at our finances and realized that it would be tight but we could make it work for a year. Where we go after that, I guess we'll have to wait and see...

I am so grateful to be in this place where we have to realistically make these decisions. It feels bittersweet.

So the question I've been thinking about....Can women have it all?
Marriage + Baby + Career-- I sure want it all but suspect that "mommy guilt" I've heard so much about might be present. I am a worrier...a planner...hence these are the things I'm thinking about.

On another happy note on Monday we went for our ultrascreen and everything looked good. Neo was waving and moving around quite a bit. I have to post Neo's picture on my next post. It's still sinking in. So amazingly surreal...the ultrasound technician placed the probe or wand (whatever its called) on my belly and there he/she was...amazing! I could cry just thinking about it.

Today we were in toy*s*r*u*s* buying a birthday gift for my nephew and my husband suggested we browse through the baby section. I have not allowed myself to go there yet. I don't know if It's "normal" but it just feels like it hasn't fully sunken in yet. I also haven't allowed my heart to go there. But today we just walked down the sections and I have to admit...I started getting emotional. The second I walked in to the section...I believe my exact words were, "Wow! I can't believe we are here!" All this time I purposely looked away or avoided these sections of stores.

I am so grateful. I'm going to be someone's mommy. Is this real?